i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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