no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
