I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
