does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
