3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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