ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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