So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
