on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
