I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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