New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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