I smell stomach acid.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize