i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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