he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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