he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
