She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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