Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize