im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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