I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize