did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
