i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
