you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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