I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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