I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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