when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I am available for nakedness
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
