Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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