I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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