Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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