I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
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I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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