You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We're not piercing ourselves today.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
