So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
