How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
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Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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