You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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