She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
