His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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