im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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