My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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