no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
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Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
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You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.