So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though