i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
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Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
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i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no