It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.