its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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