If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
