my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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