you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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