I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
