Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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