I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I believe in your delicious
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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