so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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