there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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