Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
