No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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