its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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