Already got asked if we're dating
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
