I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
