Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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