i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You need a sexual gate keeper
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
