last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
