Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
