Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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