He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't deserve a penis
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
