Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
