the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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